When I roll back into New York, I imagine a reception not unlike the sort a warrior receives in an epic film as he rejoins the battle.  I feel a twinge of megalomania, but can brush that aside by turning up the volume on my iPod.  Usually something appropriate to my mood is playing as I hit the streets.  Yesterday, at 32nd Street and Eighth Avenue, that song was the theme from Superman.

Of course then I couldn’t catch a cab to save my life.  If I’d only been born under the red sun of Krypton.  I could’ve reversed the rotation of the earth and made it so that I’d arrive well before shift-change.  (That my ability to fly would make a cab superfluous is missing the point ENTIRELY.  Spoilsport.) 

I got a cab eventually, and as I read back through the more incidental Mets posts on some of my favorite blogs, I caught one on Tim Byrdak soliciting reliever music.

As cool a dude as that makes Mr. Byrdak in a sense, I have to say I was somewhat disappointed.  Naming choices for either spot-on or totally outre reliever music is a delightful way my baseball-loving friends and I have passed the time on the 7 train to or from a game.  I’ve got a list as long as my arm.  Is Tim not into it?  Did he draw the short straw in some Mets front-office public relations game?  Neither question answered in the affirmative means a pox for either house, of course.  Just… c’mon, man.  This is your moment.  Be selfish.

Ted Berg of SNY and TedQuarters listed his choice as “Keep Their Heads Ringin’” by Dr. Dre, which is a favorite in my group’s parlor game.  Also a favorite in my game is “Shut ‘Em Down,” by Public Enemy, which if I recall correctly is Metsblog’s Matt Cerrone’s desired jam if he should ever come through the gates. (He’d probably want the remix, whose hook I think is more crowd-pleasing.)  John Maine once said he had his reliever music all picked out should he ever be sent to the bullpen: Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Posse On Broadway.”  Serviceable, especially when you consider a reliever’s music only plays for so long.  Any jokes you want to make about how long Maine himself would last out there you can post to my Twitter account: @omniality.

Every rap/hip hop choice I’d make would never play for family crowds: Tupac’s “Shorty Wanna Be A Thug”; “Machine Gun Funk,” by The Notorious B.I.G.; even “King Of New York,” by Dan The Automator (none of these have worthwhile YouTube links, so I’ve skipped them).  And Bobby Parnell should come out to “B.O.B.B.Y.” by the RZA, so I can have an excuse to wear my “DIGITAL 36” retro jersey to the park.

Rock-wise, I think “Icky Thump” by The White Stripes should be on everyone’s short list.  But I’ve been a whore for the White Stripes since they played at Bennington College in February 2001.  I was one of maybe six people there, yet two years later someone stole my copy of De Stijl from my room.  They’d best be dead, as I’m still hunting them.

…To that short list I’ll add “Fire” by Jimi Hendrix (what is it with YouTube “videos” that are merely image stills with music behind them?) and Radiohead’s “Electioneering.”

That Radiohead jam has led to one of the more unusual suggestions I’ve heard: “Nobody Does It Better.”  NOT the Carly Simon version, but the cover by Thom Yorke and Radiohead for MTV Europe.  Now, this friend was drunk, and he’d also come out to any Brahms piece as played by Glenn Gould, if he could get the crowd to stand stockstill and silent, and come out in streetclothes, which would be exchanged for his uniform by age-appropriate female ushers.  But that “Nobody Does It Better” is by no means an appropriate choice when stone sober makes me feel sad for our culture.  We lack in bulk the sense of humor I appreciate; furthermore, I’d imagine the reliever’s sexuality would be called into question, and it’s that kind of nonsense we should get past quick.  Hell, Stevie Nicks’s “Edge Of Seventeen“ would be hilarious AND intense. 

Then again, if you’ve gone that far, choose Europe’s “The Final Countdown,” hide some pyrotechnic smoke bombs up your sleeves, and roll out to the mound on a Segway.

There’s a debate that kicks up every once in awhile as to whether “Sabotage” by the Beastie Boys is appropriate, given that the sabotage in question could be construed as self-inflicted, especially if the whole appearance blows up in your face.  While it’s a terrific song, I think I’d shy away.  The papers would have a field day.

**

Speaking of the papers: Chris Young acquitted himself well last night against the Philadelphia Phillies, of whom I’ve heard in the past.  These ”Phillies” play in the NL East, and seem to think there’s some manner of heated rivalry going on.  Which is odd, because I know for a fact our team’s rivals are the Atlanta Braves. 

Sure, if you want to get technical, you could state that every team playing in the divison is a rival.  But then I could state that every team in the league is battling for a wild-card spot just as much as they’re battling for the division championship.  So every podunk burg and has-been town with a ball club could be considered a rival.  Pfft.

Anyway, I missed the back cover of the Daily News, but the Post announced Chris Young’s victory with the headline, “CHRIS ROCKS!” 

And this got me to thinking: Chris Young’s name is generic enough to play headline games with ‘til the end of time.  Which, depending on what hysterical prophet you encounter at Penn Station, could be in a month or so, or about twenty months, or eight-plus years ago, after the cancellation of Greg The Bunny.

Anyway, I look forward to these:

“YOUNG IS RESTLESS: Blows Up On Mound After Getting Yanked In 5th vs. Bombers”

“YOUNG AT HURT: Mets Pitcher Battles To Victory Despite Injury To Heel”

“ST. CHRISTOPHER: Chris Young Pitches 2-Hit Gem To Keep Mets In Hunt”

“CHRIS-TAL BALL: Young Predicts Mets Win NLCS In 5”

“MERRY CHRIS-MAS: Young, Mets Win Series At End Of Longest Playoffs In MLB History”

“FOREVER YOUNG: Mets WS Pitcher Signs Eight-Year Deal”

…You’re welcome, tabloids.

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