Goddamn it.

Godfuckingdamn it.

HOLY shit, goddamn it.

David Wright has a stress fracture in his lower fucking back, and Willie Harris is playing third base tonight.  And it’s cold out, and it’s raining, and it will rain for the rest of the week, and… and…

EVERYBODY FUCKING PANIC. Take two minutes out of your life and panic RIGHT NOW.

You ever fracture your back?  I’ve broken a rib.  That shit HURTS.  Imagine what fracturing YOUR FUCKING BACK feels like.

What the hell’s going on in the back, anyway?  Spinal cord, discs.  Someone very close to me has been suffering general lower back pain for a few weeks now, and it looks like it hurts like a bitch.  And he FRACTURED his back?

Fuck.  Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck.  FUCK.

**

As that took about two minutes to draft, my time to panic is over.  I will now proceed with the rest of my day as though the third baseman on my favorite baseball team didn’t just fracture HIS FUCKING BACK.  Because as we all know, we’re each of us one fractured back and seven to ten days’ worth of rest from NOT being on a pace to strike out 172 times this year.

Yes, I know.  I’m all over the place on this post.  Leave me alone.  David Wright fractured HIS FUCKING BACK.

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