As it’s been a slow news day and I’ve been on hold for the past thirty minutes, occasionally having to enter the same ten-digit code to ensure I keep my place in line, allow me to conduct a little more business.
Readers voted to select my off-season profile pic; the choices were presented here. If you don’t like clicking, this was the winner:
…with me standing in for David Wright. I was hopeful the winner would be one of the Santana photos, or even the one where John Maine looks like he’s just about to, or has just finished, passing a kidney stone. Let the record show that I don’t rig my own votes.
I gave myself until November 1 to reproduce the shot as best I can, and I stand by that; work is underway, including the effort to find a suitable (or suitably hilarious) stand-in for Jose Reyes.
In the interim, however, I needed a shot of myself that didn’t include the “I’m Calling It Shea” shirt, which as I’ve stated is a fine message for 2009 but not for any part after the 2009 season. I’ve put together a series of vaguely sports-related shots to stand in, each with their own funny–and blessedly short–story.
The first one you see on the page (below “About Me”) was taken at Bennington College, sometime around March 17th, 2005, when I visited a friend for his birthday. The time was roughly one-thirty in the morning; some time later, I found myself wandering around the campus, kicking a rock like a soccer ball.
To this day, I am unsure as to whether I broke a couple of toes in the process. It was cold. My foot hurt the next morning. A LOT. I never went to the hospital.
The hat belonged to my friend’s now ex-girlfriend.
Success! I’m being transferred to the next available representative. Cable-speed internet access, here we come!
omniality
Section Five Twenty-Eight 