But to the trained eye, I’m a keen and unobtrusive observer of human events.
Did I need to watch all of Game One of the World Series? No; that would’ve been an exercise in excess. Neither the Yankees, the Phillies, Major League Baseball, nor the FOX television network needed me to watch all of Game One of the World Series. I won’t speak to Joe Buck’s or Tim McCarver’s need, but I get the feeling that as long as they’ve got each other, they’ve got the world spinnin’ right in their hands.
No, once I saw Jimmy Rollins push a bunt on the first pitch, I had this game pegged: hassle C.C. for the Phillies; outlast Cliff Lee for the Yankees. From what I saw while flipping in and out and while talking over a video project with a friend, C.C. was behind all night and never got comfortable.
Meanwhile, Cliff Lee lasted longer than expected, and the triumvirate of Cano, Swisher, and Cabrera were striking out and making weak contact most every time I caught a Yankee at-bat. That was, literally, ninety-eight percent of my Yankee viewing experience. The other two percent consisted of Derek Jeter hacking up a lung. Get that man a lozenge.
Did not need to watch that whole game. Not at all. And I can also say with a straight face that spending this morning with Cartman’s rendition of “Poker Face” in my head is a lot better than trying to get McCarverisms out of there.
P-p-p-poker face. P-p-p-poker face.
Adam Rubin’s calling Chip Hale, of the Arizona Hales, the Mets new third base coach, thus depriving the sports world of yet another paycheck-drawing, marginally-relevant Steve Smith (actually, the Giants’ Smith is not a bad wideout; I have no idea how Steve Smith of the Miami Heat has been doing and checking would be a bridge too far). My baseball thoughts are less consumed with who’s at third base and more with who’ll be in left field, at first base, and whether Chowdah will learn not to swing at garbage. But good luck, Chip. Don’t get snookered into any half-baked Flash web promotions.
Keep your eye on the ball, Mr. Hale.
I’ve been extraordinarily critical of the Philadelphia fan base, so I’ll spread the wealth and the “What the what?” to Rollins. Five games? You’ll win in five?
Who, then, do you think will be the weakest link on your team the night you lose? The pitcher? The fielders? Do you get the sense that, in that loss, you guys won’t score enough runs, or that you’ll get jobbed by the umpires? Will the mighty hand of Thor come down with his godly hammer, and wreck the team bus before it gets to the stadium?
Are these questions not obvious?
I don’t get it. Either predict total domination, or enter a fantasy world where you’ve predicted your own triumph over adversity. Better yet, make zero predictions and leave confessed neurotics (hand raised) alone with their spinning-wheel questions related to the apparent and baffling appeal of Ashton Kutcher.
And speaking of fantasy world: I’m sure that out of the four readers that I have, I alienated two last week in my steadfast rooting for the New York Yankees in this Series, ignoring the semantic talk of “rooting for” a team versus “rooting against” a team, and focusing solely on the need to stop dynasty talk in Philadelphia before it starts. If they wander back to this particular post, this might perk them up.
Ran into a pack of folks heading to the game yesterday, and saw them on the uptown 4 platform as I waited for my train downtown. A great many of them were wearing T-shirts announcing the Yankees’ twenty-six championships throughout their history, and declaring that to be the trump card in this year’s battle of the wills. Loudly declaring. Perhaps drunkenly declaring, but this site makes no judgment on that last point. Would that I could’ve been so tanked yesterday.
Regardless, these gentlemen were/are in error. The Yankees won three titles in the ’20s, five in the ’30s, four in the ’40s, six in the ’50s, two in the ’60s, two in the ’70s, and four in the ’90s (cheating here with the 2000 title for ease of discourse).
Now, if Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio, Spec Shea, Mickey Mantle, Tom Tresh, and Goose Gossage were some sort of immortal and joined the current ragtag group of intergalactic rebels, then certainly, a case could be made for Yankee history playing a part in a series win this year.
Otherwise, your team’s got a very talented group of players, but the institutional memory only goes back to 1996. Thirteen years, four titles. Not bad by any means, but think before speaking, and dial down the rhetoric.
omniality
Section Five Twenty-Eight 